a real-life story
Influencing: How (Not) to Do It
Last 2 weeks, I was on holiday in Ibiza with my son, and we thought it would be nice to dine at the hotel’s sea-view restaurant. To do this, you had to make a reservation through an app. After a week of trying with no success, I decided to visit guest services. When I arrived, there were two ladies already expressing their frustration about the app not working. Here’s how the conversation went:
Two Ladies: “Your app doesn’t work; it’s useless. Your service is terrible, and on top of that, you’re rude. It’s not enough that you’re just trying to book a table. We demand you give us a table for tomorrow evening or the evening after!!!”
Me: “So, you’ve also had problems with the app?”
Two Ladies: “See, she can’t use it either, and it’s unacceptable if you don’t give us a table.”
Guest Services: “We have limited availability, and the tables are booked well in advance. I’m afraid I can’t offer you a table.”
Two Ladies: “No, we don’t accept this. You are lazy and inefficient. You need to change your booking system and reserve us a table right now.”
The staff member, clearly intimidated, went to get help from a colleague. She came into the conversation:
Colleague: “We don’t appreciate our staff being spoken to in this manner. That’s not how we communicate here.” (looking at all of us)
Me: “I’m not with these ladies.”
Guest Services: “Please, come to me, ma’am.”
(The two ladies continued to voice their frustration toward the colleague but eventually left.)
Me: “Hi Christina (I noticed her name tag). It’s a shame you’re being treated this way. You seem like someone who really cares about providing good service, and I’m sure you’d be happy to help. Could you possibly arrange a reservation for two? The app hasn’t been working for us either. Take your time, no rush.”
Guest Services: “I’m sorry about those two ladies earlier.”
Me: “It’s not your fault. All that fuss over a restaurant reservation. It seems like they really need a vacation!”
Guest Services (laughing): “Alright, what’s your room number? I’ll reserve a table for you for the day after tomorrow. Here’s your confirmation.”
Guest Services (laughs): “When would you like the reservation?”
Me: “Preferably the day after tomorrow. Would that be possible?”
Guest Services: “One moment, I’m not sure, it takes a while for the reservation system to load, please be patient…I’ll confirm tomorrow via WhatsApp. Do you use WhatsApp?”
Me: “Yes, normally I do, but not on vacation. My phone is on flight mode so I can fully relax. I don’t check WhatsApp when I’m on holiday – maybe a tip for those two ladies?”
Guest Services (laughing): “Alright, what’s your room number? I’ll reserve a table for you for the day after tomorrow. Here’s your confirmation.”
Moral of the story: Make people feel seen, connect on a human level, use humour, appreciate their efforts, and most importantly, don’t lose your temper.
